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Doom Patrol Season 2 Episode 7 Review: Dumb Patrol

There was a lot of inner truth exploration on Doom Patrol Season 2 Episode 7, and none of it was pretty.

At one end, we have Niles basically giving up on Dorothy and committing to turning her over to Kipling to do with as the Knights Templar see fit. In doing so, he's truly giving up on himself as well.

At the other end of the spectrum, Rita gets to sort out some of her feelings thanks to lots of day-drinking and some ambivalent bees. That catharsis allows her to have some success at her first attempt at superhero.

However, it's the in-between bits that were the most fun to watch.

The Doom Manor team gives Miranda a lot to work with, and she's certainly a pleaser, isn't she? Even when everyone's acting like their frontal lobes have been completely fried.

She makes a gourmet meal for Vic and Roni and then lends Flit to Larry so they can have their escapade to the hospital. Yeah, more on her later.

She even tries to convince them not to operate on Roni without actively saying "no" to them. Thank goodness Kipling shows up in time.

Becoming infected by scants is extremely dangerous as the bad ideas will compound and lead to death, dismemberment, and more death.


So my main question about the whole scant adventure is why the White Space painting was sent back from Switzerland infested with the scants?

I don't even remember them sending it away, to begin with. I thought it was still in that room in the Manor where Vic would stare at it, waiting for Mr. Nobody to re-emerge.

Oh wait, did Kipling take it with him when he left with Niles' immortality talisman?

Also, why did the guy on the gallery's answering machine's cough sound so much like Niles'? I might be over-thinking this. Coughs pretty much sound the same across the board.

It was amusing to see The Beard Hunter again. Even more so because his NON-scant-infestation looks awfully similar to what normal people look like when their brains are being liquified.

Listen, little lady. I'm a self-trained Shinobi warrior and a semi-semi-professional Fortnite streamer. So if anyone knows how to stay hidden...

The Beard Hunter

This was also a good test of how powerful Miranda is as a primary. Can you IMAGINE how fast Hammerhead would've emerged if anyone had addressed Jane as "little lady"?

In any case, much like the musical trope on Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 6 Episode 7, the Scant Queen lays bare some of the characters' worst fears because those are what usually prevent them from making bad choices.

When addressing Larry, she reveals that the Negative Spirit should leave, that its very bad idea is thinking it can stay. Of course, the Negative Spirit probably isn't scantifiable, having no organic brain, so it made its choice without the benefit of the pests.

Still, it gives Larry something to think about in the debrief. His relationship with the Negative Spirit is incredibly convoluted. Maybe five years in an airlock would give him perspective? Then again, maybe not.

Scant Queen: It doesn't matter how many times you summon her, Willoughby, she'll never love you. She's a talking horse head. She has no torso.
Kipling: You don't know that. Don't need a torso to have a heart.

Kipling's forbidden love for a demonic horse's head was a bit of twist but not completely out of keeping for the character, I guess. He really shouldn't be poking fun at Niles' love for Dorothy's mother, though, given what he wants to do with Baphomet.

I was a bit sad when the Scant Queen identified Roni and Vic as each other's worst idea since it's the one romantic relationship on the show that we've really been able to dig into.

It might just be that love is always a not-smart idea. It requires a leap of faith.

Cliff's self-reflective journey back to the Manor is a ridiculous mix of the profane and the profound.

The fact that he is literally stuck in his tracks, unable to move forward and without a lifeline to call -- well, no one that'll pick up anyway -- is symbolism with the subtlety of a frying pan.

Dude: No way! A talking statue?
Cliff: I'm not a fucking statue. I'm a fucking robot.
Dude: Woah. Robot? Can you move?
Cliff: Not at the moment.
Dude: I dunno, dawg. Sounds like something a statue might say.

He has all that time to plot his revenge and plan a plethora of horrible things to do to Niles on his walk home, and then when he arrives, everything is forgotten when he finds Clara waiting for him.

It seems that Rita wasn't the only one using cathartic devices. Having spent all his anger out over the miles of pavement he trudged, I think he was in the perfect place to reconcile with his daughter.

I think I've said it before but, of all the Doom Patrol members, Cliff is the only one I can see, given the right circumstances and opportunity (and maybe a little front-loaded coaching) who would make a half-decent dad.

Larry might be a runner-up. Niles is dead last.

Vic: You okay?
Larry: Not since the early sixties, no.

Rita's chat with the beekeeper was a satisfying sort of impromptu therapy session. It has a lot to do with the bluntness of her companion's take on life but it was also nice to see Rita let her guard down a bit.

The intrusive thoughts of her mother's sexual commerce aside, the beekeeper demonstrates a lot of life-learned wisdom about motherhood, providing the insights Rita needs to start letting go of her insecurities.

Beekeeper: When your mom boffed that producer, she didn't realize that she was shackling you with chronic self-doubt. I believe she did it because she loved you.
Rita: So, that's it? We're just supposed to endure the toxic stupidity of our mothers?

The final observation goes to Miranda and the goings-on in The Underground.

Since we're obviously supposed to be Team Jane, it's clear that Miranda has to be behind the disappearance of Scarlet Harlot. And this is after she encouraged the alters to dump Baby Doll and Flaming Katy down the well.

It seems that she's doing away with the other alters, one by one.

To what end? Well, everything about Jane's inner life is pretty messed up, so fighting the constructed alter personality that pre-dated her conscious existence sounds right up her alley.

The mother is gone. Soon, the father will join her. I endure.


With only a couple more installments before the season wraps (short a proper finale due to COVID-19), I suspect we'll be more focusing more on Niles and Dorothy, especially since he's basically signed her death warrant.

Are you able to pick which character's plot thread you'd most like to have wrapped up?

Do any of them deserve a happy-ish ending at this point?

How will Dorothy react to Niles' betrayal? And how will the Knights Templar choose to contain her?

What is Roni planning to do with the Ooma jelly?

Hit the comments with your yays and nays!

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